10 Things I Want to Tell You


Sometimes I get discouraged thinking about how far I am from where I’d ideally love to be. Then sometimes I remember to look back at how far I’ve already come and I’m filled with gratitude.

I’ve been looking back over the past two years of working with my coach and trying to create a list of the top ten lessons I’ve learned. It’s not easy. I thought I was being super selective with what I added to my initial list…and managed to limit it to eighty entries.

I’m keeping my big list, but I also want a list that’s easier to read and easier to remember. I want to spend time with these lessons and think about their impact on my life.

As you can see below, I did get my list down to ten (in no particular order), although that list has changed at least a dozen times while I write this (and I may have combined a few points instead of choosing between them).

As I revisited these lessons, I realized these aren’t just the things I would love to go back and tell myself from two years ago or twenty years ago. They are what I am telling myself today and what I will likely still need to hear twenty years in the future.

They are what I want to tell you.

  1. It’s absolutely ok to be afraid and that doesn’t mean you’re not capable of accomplishing more than feels possible right now. The only thing that helps overcome resistance and fear is taking action.

  2. Your feelings, needs, preferences, and opinions are just as important as anyone else’s. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Your emotions are a source of information, not a measurement of your worth.

  3. It is not your job to make everyone else ok. Take responsibility for the things you can control and let go of the things you can’t.

  4. You do not have to be perfect. Making mistakes and being a beginner are just part of learning, growing, and living.

  5. It’s allowed to be fun. It’s allowed to be easy. Choose the path of most growth over the path of greatest ease, but the way most suited to you doesn’t always have to be the hardest.

  6. You are the only one who can give you permission to be yourself. The first step in becoming who you want to be is accepting who you are and where you are right now.

  7. In order to grow, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable. Keep stretching yourself one tiny step at a time.

  8. Life is a journey, not a destination. You don’t have to have all the answers. Keep asking questions and stay curious. Many of your challenges will be a lifelong process. They are still teaching you.

  9. Not everyone will like you or agree with you. That’s ok. Seek connection over validation.

  10. You are not alone. Whatever you are facing, chances are you are not the only one.

Really, there’s so much more I want to tell you. I’ve written about some of these topics before. I’ll probably write about all of them again. Honestly, as I was writing this list it was tempting to include every detail about everything I’ve learned so far and turning this into the longest blog post ever.

Let me tell you this—wherever you are right now is ok. I believe in you.

Try making your own list. If you could go back and tell your past self anything, what would it be? What do you want to remind yourself of in the future? What are the words you most need to hear today?