Building self-trust is a foundational part of shifting out of people-pleasing . We can show up more vulnerably in relationships, try new things, and choose how we live our lives when we trust that we’ll be there for ourselves no matter what.
Lack of self-trust is often what leads us to look to others to tell us what we need to do and who we need to be to earn approval. For those of us with a habit of believing we’re not good enough , self-trust can seem out of reach. Self-trust, however, is not reserved for certain people. You can trust yourself.
Trust cannot be forced. It’s not something we either have or we don’t. Our levels of self-trust vary from situation to situation and fluctuate over time.
It seems logical that we might expect someone we trust to never let us down or hurt us. We might expect them to always get it right and know what to do.
The thing is, we are human . Trust based on always getting it right only lasts until that person inevitably proves to be imperfect. (Note: There is a difference between not always getting it right and persisting in behaviors and patterns that hurt us or let us down.)
It can feel easier to trust someone (including ourselves) when things are going well and they seem to know what they’re doing.
I find, however, that when it comes to trust, the most telling moments are when things get difficult. How does someone navigate uncertainty, disappointment, and challenge. How do they treat people in the process?
The same things that influence whether or not we trust someone else also indicate how much we trust ourselves. So let’s take a look…
I created a Self-Trust Inventory to add to the free resource library. This is not about earning your self-trust gold star. It is about deepening your awareness about your relationship with yourself.
Let’s celebrate and strengthen where you are currently acting in a trustworthy way toward yourself, while also noticing where you’d like to make changes.
Working through the Self-Trust Inventory will help you:
- Get clear on what builds or undermines your self-trust.
- Reflect on what self-trust currently looks like in your life.
- Celebrate and choose next steps based on what you’ve learned.
Not a member of the library yet? Enter your email below to get your free Self-Trust Inventory, as well as access to the rest of the resources in the library.