Who Do You Want to Be?


Every Sunday I review the previous week and plan for the next. I look at practical matters like places I need to be and things I need to get done. I also reflect on how the things I’m doing or not doing are helping me or hindering me in my efforts live out my values and work toward my dreams.

One of the questions I ask myself each week is Who do I want to be?

We’re all in the process of becoming more of who we are. Becoming includes both building up and stripping away. We peel back the layers to uncover who we are at our core while also looking for ways to add more of the values, qualities, and skills we want in our lives.

When I ask myself who I want to be each week, I want to keep in mind the big picture—to remember the fullness of who I am and who I hope to grow to become. But I also want to consider which parts of myself I most want to call upon at that particular point in time. Choosing who I want to be week by week, day by day, moment by moment builds who I am as a whole.

I could write page after page after page about who I am, who I’m in the process of becoming, and who I hope to someday be. That’s valuable, but it’s also too much to focus on all at once. Besides, it’s never complete.

I intentionally leave only space for a one sentence answer in my weekly response. And week to week my answer varies…

I want to be someone who writes everyday.

I want to be someone who doesn’t hide.

I want to be someone who expresses herself with grace and kindness.

I want to be someone who can feel emotions without getting stuck in them.

I want to be someone who can make small talk.

I want to be someone who is self-aware without being self-absorbed.

I want to be someone who reaches out to others.

I want to be someone who doesn’t depend on others for her sense of worth.

I want to be someone who listens.

I want to be someone who can hold grief and hope at the same time.

I want to be someone who acts bravely even though she’s afraid.

I want to be someone who is willing to try.

In making a point of asking myself this question weekly, I’m more likely to remember to ask it at other times. Before interacting with a friend. When making a big decision. Before responding to a request. When faced with the same tiresome task I’ve done so many times before. Before trying something new.

How would you finish this sentence? I want to be someone who…

Try finishing it five different ways and then pick the response you want to focus on in the coming week. The other answers are valid and helpful as well. You may want to switch your focus to fit different circumstances that come your way, but you don’t have to try to be everything at once.

I know everyone has different preferences and needs when it comes to planning our days and weeks and lives. How might you find a way to continue asking yourself who you want to be? What are some of your responses when you do? What changes when you set your intention ahead of time?