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3 Reasons for Giving an Honest No

I have a hard time saying no when someone asks me to do something, even if I really don’t want to agree. Saying no can feel hard for any number of reasons… We’re afraid the other person will get mad at us… We don’t want to appear lazy or selfish… We don’t want to seem mean or rude… We take responsibility for making sure others are happy… We want to feel needed… We want to avoid conflict… We’ve developed a habit of always agreeing… We want people to like us… We don’t want to disappoint anyone… We’re afraid of missing out… Any of these sound familiar?…

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What Do You Like About Yourself?

When you think about yourself, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Do your thoughts go to things you love about yourself? Are you quick to note all the things you wish were different? Are you more likely to focus on your opinion of yourself or of other people’s opinions of you? If I asked you to tell me your favorite things about yourself, would your answer come easily? Would you struggle to come up with an answer or feel hesitant to share?…

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For When You Struggle to Trust in Your Worth

(I needed to ask myself these questions again this week.) There are a lot of things I want to do. There are many people I’d like to get to know and already established relationships that I long to take deeper. Sometimes I take a step toward one of these things, but often I stay stuck where I am for far too long. I tell myself that I can’t do it because I’m not smart enough or talented enough or don’t have enough training.…

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What Words Do You Need to Hear Today?

You probably know how much I value journaling. I started journaling consistently about five and a half years ago. Since then I have filled a lot of notebooks. I don’t often look back at past journal entries, even though I know that retrospecting can be a powerful tool. As my stack of filled journals grows, the thought of looking back feels even more daunting. Recently, however, I was thinking about where I was back when I first started journaling seriously—that was a pivotal year for me—and felt curious enough to dig out my old journals.…

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Where Are You Holding Yourself to a Different Standard?

There’s often a disconnect between the way we see ourselves and the way we see others. We say things to ourselves that we would be horrified to say to another human being. We demand perfection from ourselves that we would never expect from anyone else. I very much want to have relationships and be part of a community where we don’t have to hide pieces of who we are. I want us to celebrate together—the big victories and the tiny joys.…

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Curiosity and Consistency

Yes, that would be such a helpful thing to do. I can see how it would support me in making the changes I want to make in my life. Have you ever thought something similar? I know I have. How often do you follow through on consistently implementing that helpful thing in your life? There are countless practices we can do, questions we can ponder, and habits we can form. There are lots of tools that can help us become more aware of what’s going on within us, process through our experiences, and express ourselves in ways that make us proud.…

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How Do You Feel About Your Flaws?

I’ve been experimenting with listening to spoken word meditations in the morning to help set the tone for my day. It’s a way to be still and breathe. Sometimes the words I hear affect me in ways I didn’t expect. When I first listened to these words from Sarah Blondin, I cried so hard that my shirt was soaked with tears. It’s likely I’ve told you you’re allowed to be a work in progress—you’re allowed to be human.…

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Which Parts of You Need the Most Love?

“Where we deprive ourselves of love is where we need it most.” ~ Sarah Blondin When asked what you love most about yourself, what sorts of things come to mind? For many of us, it’s likely to be the best parts of ourselves…or at least the parts we believe to be most acceptable. Maybe you love the color of your eyes, even if you’re not so thrilled about the shape of your nose.…

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Two Questions for Today

There are days when all the things I want to be doing and the things I think I should be doing keep piling up until I don’t even know where to take my very next step. Worries can fill up my mind until it’s hard to focus on anything else. Sometimes this leads me to dive into a task—any task—to feel like I’m accomplishing something, even if the task I choose is actually more of a distraction than a benefit.…

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When a Comment Hurts More Than it Should

A few weeks ago, I met a friend at a local cafe. While I was in the middle of paying for my coffee and scone, the woman behind me in line tapped me on the shoulder. She told me that she liked my dress but that I would look so much better if I stood up straight and pulled my shoulders back. While unnecessary, her comment wasn’t untrue. It was hurtful and discouraging for a number of reasons, but maybe what bothered me most was how much it bothered me.…

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